# Financial abuse > Financial abuse is one partner controlling the other's access to money and resources, for example by withholding it, running up debt in their name, or stopping them working. It's a pattern aimed at control, not a normal money disagreement, and it can happen without physical violence. Confidential support is available. Not reviewed yet: test content. - **Financial abuse is control of money:** one partner limits the other's ability to get, use and keep money or other resources. - **It's a pattern, not a single row:** repeated behaviour that limits independence is what separates it from a money disagreement. - **It can happen with no physical violence,** and it is often part of coercive control. - **It isn't a normal relationship problem or a communication issue:** it's abuse. - **Confidential support is available,** and thinking about safety first matters. ## What is financial abuse? Financial abuse, also called economic abuse, is a form of intimate partner or family violence in which one partner controls the other's ability to get, use and keep money or other resources [1]. It is often part of coercive control: an ongoing, repeated pattern of behaviour that hurts, scares or isolates someone in order to control them [2]. It can happen with no physical violence at all [3]. In plain terms, financial abuse means controlling a partner's access to money, for example by withholding it, running up debt in their name, stopping them from working, or demanding to see every purchase. It can also mean manipulating someone's financial decisions or using their money without their consent [4]. Other examples include: - Stopping you from using, accessing or keeping money, whether it's your own earnings or shared household funds, or preventing you from having a job or income so that you depend on them [5]. - Giving you a small allowance and strictly monitoring what you spend, or not allowing an adult to have a bank account [2]. - Demanding that you show how every cent is spent, or organising loans and credit cards in your name [6]. - Spending shared money without your knowledge or approval, for example on gambling [5]. Economic abuse can leave a person financially dependent on the abuser or economically unstable, which limits their ability to escape and reach safety [7]. ## How is it different from a disagreement about money? The difference is pattern and power, not how much you argue. Ongoing abuse is a pattern of behaviour that makes you feel scared and is aimed at controlling you [6]. One controlling act can look unremarkable on its own; it's the repeated acts over time that add up to control [8]. Money arrangements themselves aren't the problem. Sharing finances, or having one person mainly handle money matters, can be healthy if it works for both of you. It becomes financial abuse when one person's control of money limits the other's independence and decision-making [5]. A shared, agreed budget where both partners have a say is different from a set allowance with closely tracked spending [5]. However you split your money, both of you should be able to see and get into the accounts the household depends on. Some questions to ask yourself: - Can I talk about money without being afraid? - Do I have a say in decisions? - Can I get to money when I need it? Signs include feeling trapped because you can't access your money to leave, being put into too much debt by the other person, and feeling unable to make decisions about your own money [9]. Other red flags: no access to an account you should have, an account or debt in your name that you didn't know about, or not knowing your own details, such as a PIN. Take these seriously even if they look like a money dispute. Being afraid of a partner, or being hurt, threatened, watched or controlled by them, isn't a normal relationship problem or a communication issue. It's abuse, and confidential support is available. ## When to get more help Couples counselling isn't advised where there is abuse or fear; confidential support for the person at risk is the safer first step. If you're afraid of your partner, or they hurt, threaten, watch or control you, you don't have to deal with it alone: contact a local family or domestic violence service for confidential support, or call your local emergency number if you're in danger now. Think about safety before making changes. How abuse responds to action depends on its type and severity, and where abuse is severe some interventions may increase it. Staying isn't automatically the riskiest option, and leaving isn't automatically the safest. A support service can help you weigh this up and plan [3]. It can also point you to qualified financial and legal help for your own situation. A partner may be able to see a shared phone, app or browser history, so it's safest to look for help on a device you trust. ## Common questions ### What are the warning signs of financial abuse? Common signs include restricting your access to bank accounts, credit cards or cash, pressuring you to ask permission to spend your own money, refusing to contribute to shared costs or child support, and taking money out of a joint account without agreement. Feeling afraid to talk about money is another sign worth taking seriously. ### What if there are debts in my name that I didn't agree to? Being put into debt you didn't agree to, such as loans or credit cards taken out in your name, is a recognised sign of financial abuse. It's worth taking seriously, even if it looks like a money dispute. A support service can help you work out what to do next and where to find qualified help. ### Can financial abuse continue after a relationship ends? Yes. The behaviours used to control someone financially, such as organising loans and credit cards in your name, can be used by a partner, a family member or an ex-partner. If you're still affected after separating, a confidential support service can talk through your situation with you. ## Sources 1. Economic abuse as a form of intimate partner violence in sub-Saharan Africa: A review of the literature. Nduka and others · Journal of Community Medicine and Primary Health Care · 2023 https://doi.org/10.4314/jcmphc.v35i3.7 2. What are the signs of coercive control?. NSW Government · 2024 https://www.nsw.gov.au/family-and-relationships/coercive-control/what-are-signs 3. A realist review of which advocacy interventions work for which abused women under what circumstances. Rivas and others · The Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews · 2019 https://doi.org/10.1002/14651858.cd013135.pub2 4. Financial abuse. Moneysmart https://moneysmart.gov.au/family-and-relationships/financial-abuse 5. What is financial abuse and control?. Government of Western Australia https://www.wa.gov.au/organisation/department-of-communities/what-financial-abuse-and-control 6. Recognising violence and abuse in families and relationships. Victorian Government https://www.victimsofcrime.vic.gov.au/recognising-violence-and-abuse-families-and-relationships 7. Domestic abuse. NHS https://safeguarding-guide.nhs.uk/types-of-abuse-exploitation-and-neglect/s3-05/ 8. "Slowly, Over Time, You Completely Lose Yourself": Conceptualizing Coercive Control Trauma in Intimate Partner Relationships. Kassing and Collins · Journal of Interpersonal Violence · 2026 https://doi.org/10.1177/08862605251320998 9. Protecting yourself from economic or financial abuse. Queensland Government https://www.qld.gov.au/community/getting-support-health-social-issue/support-victims-abuse/need-to-know/how-can-i-stay-safe/practical-steps-to-stay-safe/protecting-your-finances Source: https://coupletools.com/learn/financial-abuse