# Talking about mental health at home

> Pick a calm moment, share in stages, and say whether you want advice or just a listening ear. As the listener, care and curiosity matter more than having answers. Treat mental health as ordinary life, and take medication side effects to the prescriber rather than managing them alone.

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- **Choose your moment:** a calm, unhurried time beats a rushed or tense one.
- **Share in stages,** and say whether you'd like advice or just a listener.
- **Listening beats fixing:** showing you care matters more than having the answers.
- **Make mental health ordinary talk at home,** so nobody has to hide a hard patch.
- **Medication can change more than mood,** including desire and closeness, so raise side effects with the prescriber.

## How do you talk about mental health with your partner?

Gently, in stages, and at a time that suits you both. If you're the one sharing, pick a moment when your partner is best able to take it in [1]. You don't have to say everything at once. It can help to find out how they feel about mental illness first, talk through how it touches everyday life and the relationship, and practise what you want to say beforehand [1]. Tell them whether you'd like advice or just a listening ear, and which details you'd like kept private [1]. "I don't need fixing, I just need you to listen" does a lot of work in one sentence.

If you're the listener, you don't need all the answers. Showing you care is the most helpful thing you can do [2]. Start with a caring statement and an open question, such as "I've noticed you seem a bit down. How have you been feeling?" Then let your partner do most of the talking, and offer support rather than advice [2]. Listening without interrupting, holding off on solutions and acknowledging their feelings all help someone feel heard, and people who feel heard are more likely to consider support later [3].

It's worth the effort. Speaking openly about how you feel, and listening in return, can strengthen a relationship, reduce relationship anxiety and help protect mental wellbeing [4]. Worry about telling people also tends to keep those who are struggling from seeking help [5].

> **Try this together:** Take 10 minutes, on a good day rather than a hard one. Each of you finishes two sentences: "When I'm having a rough time, what helps is…" and "Something I'd like kept between us is…" Swap answers, say thanks, and stop there.

## How do you reduce stigma at home?

By making mental health an ordinary topic and making it safe to share. Stigma often shows up as stereotypes: that struggling means weakness, or "craziness", along with fear of judgement, rejection and shame [5]. Those are the ideas worth noticing and gently challenging if they turn up between you, even in passing remarks. On average, stereotypes about being strong and stoical may add to the pull of stigma for men [5]. That's an average, not a verdict on either of you.

It matters at home because stigma has real effects. In adults with psychiatric disorders, feeling stigmatised by family, neighbours or others is linked with not taking medication as prescribed [6]. That's an association, not proof of cause, but it's a good reason to make your home a judgement-free zone.

A few things help:

- **Learn a little together.** Learning about mental health, and getting to know people who live with it, tends to reduce stigma, by small to moderate amounts [7].
- **Make it safe to share.** Listen without judgement, and check what your partner wants kept private.
- **Encourage a trusted person.** Telling someone you trust can help, because people who understand what you're going through can support you [1].

It isn't clear yet what reliably eases the shame a person feels about their own struggles, so patience and listening are a sensible place to start [7].

## How can medication affect a relationship?

Mostly through sex, closeness and feelings, and sometimes in ways that are easy to misread. Antidepressants can change desire, arousal and how easily someone reaches orgasm, and can leave a person feeling "flat" about sex and connection with others [8]. Effects differ between medicines: some, serotonin-acting antidepressants among them, are linked with a much higher risk of sexual side effects [9], while others don't harm sexual function and may even raise sex drive [10]. Both the condition and its treatment may play a part [11].

The tricky bit is that side effects aren't always easy to recognise as coming from the medicine, and can be mistaken for the person's own emotional difficulties [12]. So a dip in desire or a flat mood may not mean a lack of interest in you. Try saying so to each other kindly, rather than assuming it's about the relationship, and raise any changes after a medicine starts or changes with the prescriber.

That matters because sexual side effects can lead people to stop treatment [13]. In adults with major psychiatric disorders, not taking medication as prescribed can worsen the illness, reduce how well treatment works or leave someone less responsive to later treatment [6]. So don't stop, skip or change a dose without the prescriber; side effects are something they can help with. If you're the partner, steer clear of urging them to stop: in people with psychosis, pressure from family or peers to stop medication can get in the way of treatment [14].

Most of what's known is about antidepressants and about individuals, not couples. It can't tell you how a particular medicine will affect your relationship, so the prescriber's advice comes first.

## When to get more help

Questions about symptoms, diagnosis or medication belong with a qualified health professional.

For a worry about your mental, physical or sexual health, see a doctor.


## Common questions

### When is the right time to tell my partner about my mental health?

There's no single moment. Think about how long you've been together: you don't need to tell someone you've just started seeing, but it's best not to leave it too long. Choose a time when your partner can really take it in, and share in stages rather than all at once.

### What if my partner doesn't want to talk or get help?

People avoid help for reasons that often make sense from where they stand. Ask what's behind it and listen before offering solutions, rather than pushing. Let them know you care and that you're there when they're ready. It can take more than one conversation.


## Sources

1. How to talk about your mental health concerns. Healthdirect Australia https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/healthy-living/emotional-wellbeing/how-to-talk-about-your-mental-health-concerns
2. Supporting someone at risk of self-harm or suicide. NHS https://www.hacw.nhs.uk/supporting-someone-risk-suicide
3. When someone you love won't seek help. medicarementalhealthcheckin.gov.au https://www.medicarementalhealthcheckin.gov.au/resources/when-someone-you-love-wont-seek-help
4. Maintaining healthy relationships and mental wellbeing. NHS https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/lifes-challenges/maintaining-healthy-relationships-and-mental-wellbeing/
5. What is the impact of mental health-related stigma on help-seeking? A systematic review of quantitative and qualitative studies. Clement and others · Psychological Medicine · 2015 https://doi.org/10.1017/s0033291714000129
6. Psychotropic medication non-adherence and its associated factors among patients with major psychiatric disorders: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Semahegn and others · Systematic Reviews · 2020 https://doi.org/10.1186/s13643-020-1274-3
7. Effectiveness of programs for reducing the stigma associated with mental disorders. A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Griffiths and others · World Psychiatry · 2014 https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20129
8. Depression and Your Sex Life. NHS https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/media/q1aintpg/92099depression.pdf
9. Interplay between depression and sexuality. Signerski-Krieger and Schleifenbaum · Der Nervenarzt · 2025 https://doi.org/10.1007/s00115-025-01798-7
10. Hypoactive Sexual Desire and Other Sexual Dysfunctions Caused by Psychotropic Drugs and Anticonvulsants. Kocharyan · Health of Man · 2023 https://doi.org/10.30841/2307-5090.1.2023.280049
11. Sexual Dysfunction Due to Psychotropic Medications. Clayton and others · The Psychiatric Clinics of North America · 2016 https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psc.2016.04.006
12. Antidepressant Medication and Psychotherapy: Why It Matters. Chiesa · British Journal of Psychotherapy · 2024 https://doi.org/10.1111/bjp.12938
13. Assessment and management of sexual dysfunction in the context of depression. Chokka and Hankey · Therapeutic Advances in Psychopharmacology · 2018 https://doi.org/10.1177/2045125317720642
14. Medication Non-Adherence in First Episode Psychosis: A Systematic Review. Hunt and Georgiades · Early Intervention in Psychiatry · 2026 https://doi.org/10.1111/eip.70234

Source: https://coupletools.com/learn/talking-about-mental-health-at-home