Budgeting and saving as a couple

Making money decisions together works best, usually with a joint account. Couples who pool money or decide spending jointly tend to have fewer financial problems and be more satisfied with family life than couples where one partner spends on their own or each keeps separate accounts^1,2. The link between pooling and relationship satisfaction shows up across different kinds of data and in different cultures³. It looks strongest for couples on a low income or feeling financially stretched³. In low-income couples with children, joint accounts went with better relationship quality, more consistently for women than for men⁴.

It isn't one-size-fits-all. The picture is mixed, and some argue that separate accounts can protect women's economic futures if a relationship ends⁵. If you each keep your own account, say plainly what it's for. In low-income couples, a separate account, even alongside a shared one, could raise some women's worries that a partner was holding back from the family⁴.

Expect the odd wobble, too. People who spend less than they'd like and people who spend more than they'd like tend to end up together, and in married couples that gap goes with more conflict over money⁶. Couples also tend to be more negative when they talk about money than about other things, and money decisions often need revisiting⁷. So name the difference as a difference in style, agree which spending each of you can decide alone, and treat every money chat as one of many.

A good target is enough to cover three months of expenses⁸. To get your number, add up your monthly expenses and multiply by the number of months you want covered⁸. If you're thinking long term, for example about taking time off work to care for a family member, it's worth having more put aside⁸. This is general guidance rather than a rule for every household, so adjust it to your own life.

An emergency fund is for urgent or unexpected costs you need to pay quickly when other money isn't available. If a cost can wait, save up for it separately⁸. It helps to agree together, before you need it, what counts as an emergency.

A few ways to build it:

• Start small and keep going. Even a little helps, and the more you save regularly, the better⁸.
• Automate it. Set up a transfer from the account your wage is paid into⁸.
• Keep it separate. A separate high-interest savings account makes you less tempted to dip into it for everyday spending⁸.
• Top it up. Extra money during the year, like a tax refund, can boost it⁸.
• Use stepping stones. Present the target as a ladder rather than one big end goal, with smaller milestones such as £200 along the way⁹.

Regular saving matters in itself: in household data, regular savers had over 70% lower odds of later falling behind with bills, whatever amount they actually held⁹.

Pick one goal, write it down, and make saving for it automatic. A clear goal makes it easier to stay motivated and helps you decide how much to save and how long it may take¹⁰. Keep it somewhere you can both see.

Then work out what you can afford. A simple budget of money in and money out shows what you can put aside each week or month¹⁰. Set up an automatic transfer into a separate savings account, so neither of you has to remember to move the money¹⁰. Break the goal into smaller steps, as with an emergency fund⁹, and check progress together using a bank app or a simple spreadsheet¹⁰. If you miss a week or dip into the savings, that isn't failure: start again when you can¹⁰.

The tricky part is usually the talking, not the sums. Money conversations tend to turn negative more easily than other topics, and money decisions often need revisiting⁷. Tackling money questions early can stop small things becoming big issues, and plenty of people need help negotiating them, so asking for help is fine¹¹. If you and your partner want different things, take turns: finish one goal before starting the next, and say out loud what you're each hoping for.