Keeping work out of home life

Start by putting limits on being reachable after hours. Being available for work outside regular hours is linked with more work-family conflict and poorer health, including higher stress, burnout and lower wellbeing¹. Working from home doesn't fix this by itself: having no boundaries between work and family, or no designated place to work at home, has been linked with more conflict². Among dual-earner couples working from home during the pandemic, work and family roles crowded out the couple role, and couples felt there was no time to nurture their relationship². In couples where one partner works remotely, that partner's work-family conflict can also colour how both of you see the relationship³.

Some things to try:

• Agree your work hours together, and when each of you is reachable for work and when you aren't. It helps to be intentional about where work ends and the rest of life starts, and to be clear about availability at work and at home⁴.
• Switch off work notifications outside working hours and finish on time where your workplace allows it. Boundaries are limits that protect your time, energy and wellbeing⁵.
• Tell the people you live with your working hours and when you're free⁶.
• Use a closed door, or put work items away, as a visible sign that work is done^4,7.

Some steps depend on your employer. If your job requires you to be reachable, raise it with them, and agree with your partner how to handle those times. You may also differ on how much you like to mix or separate work and home, so talk about it. Treat all of this as ideas to try together, not guarantees.

A deliberate end-of-day ritual is a good place to begin. Losing the daily commute also means losing the transition that helps many people leave work behind mentally⁴, so it helps to build a replacement.

It also helps to know what makes switching off hard. Simply feeling an urgent need to reply to late messages raises stress and lowers wellbeing, even before you've done anything about them¹. Using a phone or email for work in the evening is linked with poorer sleep and more burnout the next day¹. And unfinished tasks tend to follow people into their time off, as work-related thoughts⁸.

Some ways to mark the end of the day:

• Shut down the computer, stop checking email and focus on home⁹.
• Put work items away, so your workspace turns back into living space⁷.
• Take a "circuit breaker" walk. Couples working from home have used a walk around the block before coming back into the house in place of the commute¹⁰.
• Write tomorrow's to-do list, or simply accept that today's work is done⁴.
• Try an end-of-workday catch-up with your partner, for example while making dinner, if you both want one¹⁰.

Pick one and stick with it for a week. Rituals work by being repeated, not by being clever.

Agree boundaries out loud and divide things up on purpose rather than leaving it to chance. Share your working hours and when you're free, and ask your partner to do the same⁶. Talk about what you each need, including quiet time to get work done⁹.

A few practical points:

• Mark out a work area. If you can, choose a quiet spot away from distractions like the TV; even in a small or shared space, set aside an area for work⁹.
• Use a door as a signal. A closed home office door, and sticking to what you've agreed, tells colleagues and family when you're available⁴.
• Put work away at the end of the day. This matters most in small or shared spaces⁷.
• Negotiate, don't assume. When both of you work from home, it can look as if you're equally available, so who does what needs an active conversation⁴. Plan the week together, including household tasks that fall in working hours, instead of assuming one of you has more give.

It's worth the conversation. In many different-sex dual-earner couples sharing a home during the pandemic, husbands tended to control their hours while wives fitted work around them². Your couple may look nothing like that, and the aim is for both of you to have a say over your time. Small choices, such as who gets the home office, add up over time. Make time for the two of you on purpose, too, because couples in that situation reported having none².