Shift work, travel and FIFO

Mostly by planning around the mismatch, and by getting some say over the schedule where they can. Couples where at least one partner works shifts tend to have less potential time off together, and feel the shortage of time more¹. Night work in particular is linked with more worry about the marriage, and more stress spilling between work and family, than a standard day shift; weekend work wasn't². These are links, not proof of cause, and how much a schedule matters depends on the schedule itself, the workplace and the people involved³.

Two things seem to protect couples. One is control: having adequate say over your schedule may buffer the harms of irregular hours, and partner support matters for marriage quality³. The other is predictability. A one- or two-hour shift in start times may not disrupt much, but not knowing from week to week what hours someone will work makes leisure plans and childcare harder to arrange¹.

Some things to try:

• Put both sets of shifts in one shared calendar, then plan meals, evenings and days off around them. Think of it as Tetris, with dinner as the long piece.
• Ask for some say in shift patterns or swaps, and favour steady hours over big weekly changes.
• Agree how you'll protect sleep, such as quiet hours. For shift workers with children, a partner or relatives taking on more childcare was crucial for sleep, and supportive family helped people get enough⁴.
• Explain shift work to family and friends, because people who put sleep first sometimes struggle to explain why they need to sleep in the day⁴.

If sleepiness is making driving or daily tasks risky, or sleep problems last more than a few months, raise it with a doctor or the workplace⁴.

Keep talking, and make the talking about more than logistics. Among fly-in fly-out (FIFO) workers, relationship satisfaction was lower on on-shift days, though not for their partners, and spending less time communicating with their partner fully explained that dip⁵. The link may run both ways: when people feel less satisfied, they may talk less⁵. What you say may also matter more than how long you say it⁵.

So try to talk about how each of you is doing, not only who's collecting the parcel. Agree which ways of keeping in touch suit you both. Phone calls were the most valued method among FIFO partners, and many found communicating while away difficult, so patchy coverage or internet is worth planning around⁸.

More contact isn't always better. Being constantly reachable can leave the traveller with no break from family demands, and interruptions cut both ways: family disturbing work time, or work calls landing in the middle of mealtimes and bedtimes at home⁶. Agree in advance when work or home can wait.

The partner at home may feel lonelier and sleep less well on the days the worker is away, and may benefit from support, particularly with younger children or when a rotation is new⁷. Family, friends and local networks can all help. Most of the closest research is on FIFO couples, so if your travel looks different, treat it as a starting point.

Good communication while apart, some say over the roster, and support for the partner at home. The first is covered above: set times to talk, and talk about how you each are⁵.

On the roster, control seems to matter³, yet 87% of FIFO partners felt the worker had no choice in roster arrangements, and 39% said the company didn't offer a family friendly roster⁸. If your roster can be negotiated, raise it. Partners' ideal patterns varied, with 7 days on and 7 days off the most common (26%), then 14 on and 14 off (18%)⁸. So work out what suits the two of you.

On support, 57% of FIFO partners said they received too little for the challenges of a FIFO family. The help they said they'd use most was FIFO family support networks (41%) and modified childcare (33%)⁸. Support matters most with young children or in the first rotations⁷. Think about family, friends, local networks and flexible childcare before you need them.

Also agree beforehand how housework and childcare will be shared at each stage of the rotation, so neither of you carries the load by default. For workers with children, a partner or relatives taking on more childcare was crucial for protecting the worker's sleep⁴.

Finally, don't assume you'll cope just because others seem to. Mainly workers without major difficulties tend to stay in remote and FIFO work, so family experiences may look rosier than they are³.